Saturday, February 2, 2013

HOW PATIENCE TEACHES



From his years of experience, Tong knew even when one intrinsically comprehends what is right, taking action is not always the best course. Sometimes, not by doing, but just by being who you are and practicing patience leads you to your goal. By allowing the way of all things to show you the turn of the road, the mystery of how one ought to proceed will be revealed. The learned and spiritual ones he'd met throughout his life seemed to know this, never speaking it, but by their actions one could trace it.

"GOOD FORTUNE" page 191


This is only one of many life lessons "GOOD FORTUNE" shares through the vehicle of Tong, my favorite character. Watch for more.

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis

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“GOOD FORTUNE” is available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes&Noble.com, Nook & smashwords.com. Your local bookstore can order it,  request it from your library and tell them it’s already been cataloged.







Saturday, January 19, 2013

CHINESE NEW YEAR - YEAR OF THE BOAR



One thing about authors is, we have to do more than sequester ourselves at the computer and write. Unless we're so well known we have our own PR department we have to market our work. So, to start off the new year, I've reproduced a chapter in "Good Fortune" devoted entirely to the Chinese New Year's ever dinner followed by 10 days of celebration. I hope you'll find it so interesting you'll want to read more. Both Amazon and Smashwords.com have additional free online samples.

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For those of you who prefer to support your local independent bookstores, ask them to order "Good Fortune." Additionally, libraries throughout Pierce County and King County, Washington carry it which means regardless of whatever city and state you live, your local library can obtain copies for you and your book club. Just let them know it's already been cataloged into the library system.

If you want more information about purchasing copies, email me: lesliebratspis@yahoo.com

Happy New Year with blessings and good fortune to all!
Leslie


40
JANUARY 31, 1995
YEAR OF THE BOAR

Since it was traditional to start the Chinese New Year with a smart new outfit, weeks before she began cleaning house in preparation of the guests who would be coming to celebrate New Year's Eve dinner, Anna shopped for her family. As hosts, it was important her family be well-dressed for the holiday. She chose garments of bright red with accents of gold; red to ensure good luck and gold for prosperity, the two most important elements for the upcoming year.
From the neighborhood tailor, she purchased a finely sewn red rayon shirt for Wu with his initials monogrammed on the pocket in gold thread. For Tong, she bought a red Chinese shirt with accents of gold running through the pattern of cranes—associated with longevity, health, happiness, wisdom and good luck—soaring above trees and waterfalls. At Macy’s she bought matching red shirts for the boys and small black leather belts with shiny gold buckles. For herself, she found a red Ann Taylor suit to wear with her finest gold earrings and bracelet.
Anna hummed as she mopped the kitchen floor, smiling and remembering how she used to hate housework. Now, she took enjoyment from keeping the house clean for her family. Her change in attitude began when she was sixteen. Like most teenage girls, she had a rebellious streak; both her mother and fate would rid her of it.
“No! I won't do it!” Anna yelled at her mother. “That's just a dumb superstition someone taught you when you were my age, and I'm going to prove it by leaving my room exactly the way it is.”
Anna's mother pressed her lips together with frustration.
“At sixteen you are so sure you know everything. I warn you, Anna, if you don’t clean the mess in your room before the New Year, it will affect your whole life.”
“Do you hear how stupid you sound, Mom?” Anna shook her head with disgust and flopped down on her bed.
“You will have only yourself to blame when your life becomes total chaos,” her mother warned one last time, then slammed the door in anger because Anna put a pillow over her head to drown out the sound of her mother’s nagging.
Anna soon wished she had heeded her mother's ominous prediction, because the next year was the worst year of her life. It started when she came down with a bad case of German measles. After that, she and her best friend began to argue unceasingly. She received a “C” in geometry that ruined her straight A average and, as if that weren’t enough, her once regular menstrual cycle became erratic and painful.
After that ill-fated year, Anna always made certain to straighten her room well before the year's end. When she married, she continued the ritual by thoroughly cleaning the entire house from top to bottom, careful not to use a broom three days from New Year’s—a broom sweeps away good luck.
A week ago, Anna invited Aunt Ying and her daughter-in-law, Sue, to Yum Cha (drink tea) so they could discuss the menu and food preparation for the lavish feast. The ladies sat at the kitchen table enjoying cups of Oolong and Jasmine tea, eating sponge cake, sesame cookies and red bean cake.
As usual, Ying complimented Anna while finding fault with Sue.
“Anna, you are a wonderful hostess. Last year Cho raved for days about your delicious cooking. You must teach Sue all your secrets so one day she will be as skilled as you in the kitchen.” Ying sipped her tea and took a delicate bite of sponge cake. When she chewed, her nose twitched.
“What do you mean? I like Sue’s cooking.”
“Ha! Her food is always too salty because she doesn’t pay attention to what I show her. What do I know? I’m only her mother-in-law. Perhaps she will listen to you.”
When she heard her mother-in-law criticize her cooking, Sue wanted to lash out, but Anna stepped in and smoothed things over in a tactful way.
“Of course, Aunt Ying, I'll be glad to show Sue whatever I can, but everyone knows no one can make noodles as you do. Will you be bringing your special dish again this year?”
Aunt Ying's mood softened. “Of course, I’ll be glad to. Would you like my recipe?”
Anna smiled. “Thank you, but I already have it.”
“Oh? I don't remember giving it to you. What is wrong with my memory?”
“Nothing. Sue gave it to me last year. Did you know she memorized it down to the smallest detail?”
Ying looked at her daughter-in-law with surprise. It was no secret to the Chow family that the two women didn't get along, and everyone knew Sue was getting desperate to move out of her in-laws' house before her baby arrived.
Sue seized the moment and mustered her courage. “As long as we’ll be getting everything ready for dinner, shall we prepare breakfast for New Year's morning, too? We can prepare most of it in advance.”
“At times you are a smart girl,” Ying said with a double-edged compliment. “When I was a girl we only cooked meals the day they were served. All the ingredients had to be fresh. But now everything has to be fast, and old traditions are replaced by what is most practical.”
What Ying said was true. The practice of long-established customs became blurred and lost with fast-changing modern times. Added to that was the fact that back in the old days in China, traditions had varied from village to village, even within the same region. The result was that now almost anything was acceptable. For the sake of convenience, the Chow women wanted to get an early start by preparing whatever they could beforehand.
Three days after that conversation, Aunt Ying and Sue came back to help Anna polish all her silver serving pieces. They worked wearing rubber gloves to protect their hands. The women rubbed vigorously with soft cloths until the silver sparkled and gleamed like mirrors, and they could see themselves reflected in the shiny bowls and serving trays.
Sue was expecting the birth of her first child in mid-April. While she polished, she and Anna talked about the baby.
“A child born in the Year of the Boar will have the outstanding qualities of honesty, patience and courage,” Anna said.
Sue gazed at her stomach and spoke with love. “He will also be blessed with the characteristics of thoughtfulness and a generous heart.”
Ying listened to their remarks with her sharp ear, and although she was thrilled at the approaching birth of her first grandchild, naturally she would never tempt bad luck by verbalizing her feelings. Instead, she complained in a loud voice to Sue, hoping to trick any evil spirits who might be lurking close by.
“You foolish, unlucky girl! Did you not check the calendar before you got pregnant with my son’s child? Alan will be shamed when your baby is born ugly, stupid, and worthless.”
At once Anna and Sue realized they had been careless and hastily agreed with Ying. With voices united, the women bemoaned the sorry shame to have such bad luck while inwardly, their hearts sang with joy. In silence, they contemplated the approaching birth, and all good things the Year of the Boar might bring to the Chow family.
The day after polishing silver, Anna sorted through Wu’s and the boys’ clothes, and rearranged their closets. Then she tackled her own wardrobe, straightening her purses and shoes, and getting rid of what she no longer wanted. When that was done, she sifted through her clothes. With a final tug at an out-of-style blouse, she removed it and tossed it on the pile on the floor that consisted of her unwanted garments, and Wu’s and the boys’ castoffs.
Unlike the days of her ancestors when the wealthy lords bequeathed their clothes to poor farmers who wore their discards with the hope that some of the lord's wealth might rub off on them, no one she knew would consider accepting any of their used clothing. In fact, her own childhood had been surrounded by superstition and the belief that wearing apparel from another person (with the occasional exception of an immediate family member) would be like wearing another's essence. Just the thought of it gave Anna goose bumps as she tied the handles of the trash bags bulging with unwanted clothes.
Glad to be done with the closets, she hauled the bags and extra hangers off to the laundry room so Wu could take them to the Salvation Army. Anna wondered where all the extra hangers came from, as she tied them into bundles with string. She was meticulous about everything, yet each year when she cleaned out the closets, hangers appeared from nowhere, like a new crop of corn to be harvested.
The last day before the holiday, Anna was ready to attack the final chore of dusting and waxing the living room and dining room furniture. She enjoyed that, and always saved this task for last. The doorbell rang as she was almost finished.
Anna opened the door for Sue, straining under the weight of the full bags of groceries she carried with both arms, her purse slung over her right shoulder, and the unborn child growing inside her womb.
“Sit down and take off your shoes. I'll put these away,” Anna said, reaching for the groceries. “You poor thing, you need to rest.”
Sue sat down, kicked off her shoes and slid her swollen feet into the slippers she’d brought with her. She watched as Anna placed the groceries on the kitchen table and then methodically began putting the perishables away in the refrigerator. Next, Anna took a collection of stainless steel pots of different sizes out of the cupboard. She filled some of them with water for soaking nests, then Sue got up and the two women began preparation of the yin wor jon (bird's nest soup).
They dropped fresh slices of ginger and dried turnip balls into simmering water. Then they added chicken backs and necks to make a rich chicken stock. This had to simmer uncovered for an hour, giving them time for the next project of unfolding the newly-ironed linens and placing them on the tables so they could begin setting out the dozens of ornate plates and bowls for the guests. As they worked, the women chatted.
“I love the fact that during the holidays our households assemble to celebrate. I want the boys to feel as connected to their elder relatives as they do to their cousins,” Anna said.
“Father Cho, Uncle Tong, and Feng are our three most respected elders. Father Cho remembers a lot from his childhood days, but he usually won't talk about it unless we're all assembled at a family function. He has a lot of bad memories about the old country.”
“Tong is the opposite,” said Anna. “He overlooks that and enjoys telling tales to his sons about old family customs, just as his grandfather shared stories with him when he was small. I hope the boys can retain at least some of what he tells them when they're older so they can pass them along to their own sons someday.”
Smoothing out a crease in the tablecloth, Sue made a confession. “I admire you, Anna. Don't you ever tire of caring for Tong? Sometimes I wish Alan and I could get away from Cho and Ying for five minutes. We have no privacy at all. I'd love to have a house all to ourselves, but every time I mention it to Alan, he puts me off by saying that as soon as we can afford to move out we will. I'm beginning to think he's making excuses and doesn't have the slightest intention of getting us into our own place.”
Anna walked around the table to comfort Sue. “I know it's hard, but you must have patience and faith that he will keep his word. After all, you two are still practically newlyweds and are already expecting a baby. Perhaps Alan feels you're not yet financially prepared to be out on your own.”
Sue plunked down a bowl with exasperation and waved her arms in the air. “I can't stand living with my in-laws another minute. Ying is impossible. Nothing I do pleases her. My food is too salty or the soup is too cold, or the way I iron Alan's shirt isn’t perfect enough. She finds fault with everything I do and is always complaining about something I did wrong. What about you? Don't you mind having Tong under foot all the time?”
“No, I don't think of him that way.” Anna adjusted the bowl Sue had carelessly placed. “Although I clearly remember feeling that I had no privacy when I was still a new bride, even though he was always so kind to me. Tong keeps so much to himself nowadays that I hardly even know he's around. But the boys are like two puppies following him everywhere. They absolutely adore him and won't give him a moment's rest when he walks through the front door. He thrives on their affection.”
Anna's voice became wistful. “In all honesty, though, I admit sometimes I get fed up with living in a house full of men. Just between us, I hope to be blessed with another baby next year, and I pray for it to be a girl this time.” She picked up her tea cup. “That's why I'm drinking this raspberry tea. I'm trying for happiness in me.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Sue hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she searched Anna’s eyes. “What does Wu say about you wanting a daughter?”
“Well, you know, he's always wanted more sons, but I told him I'd love to have a girl to keep me company and he was okay with that. Of course, another son would be fine with me. If we're lucky, the Year of the Boar will prove to be a fruitful year for us in many ways.”
They laughed, and Anna was thankful to have such a close friend to confide in. She was overjoyed when Alan—Wu’s cousin born to Ying shortly after the Chow family immigrated to San Francisco—married Sue. From the start, Anna viewed Sue as more than just a cousin by marriage; she loved her as though she were her sister, the younger sister she never had but always longed for when she was growing up.
Anna and Wu didn’t have any siblings, yet each wished they had. In her case, her mother was unable to conceive again after she gave birth to her, and Mei-li died within months after coming to the United States. By circumstance, she and Wu each remained the only child and understood the loneliness the other felt while growing up. Alan and Sue became the closest thing to having a brother and sister.
“Did you remember to buy the gold paper-wrapped candy for Tuesday morning?” Sue asked.
“Yes, I bought enough candy and dried fruit for both of us to put out for company, and I also got plenty of tangerines with bright green leaves and stems. Oh my, I almost forgot to boil the water for the hung cha (red tea) eggs. I'd better do that right now.”
“Hmmm, raspberry tea and hung cha eggs, two symbols of fertility. You'll have happiness in you in no time,” Sue said, with a mischievous smile.
While the women were busy in the kitchen, Sue’s remark about caring for Tong made Anna consider why her father-in-law never remarried. When she was in junior high school, her affluent neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Hung, lived a few doors down the street in a large house. When Mr. Hung died unexpectedly, leaving his young, naive and unassertive wife a widow with three small children to raise alone, Mrs. Hung never remarried. Anna, a sensitive girl on the brink of womanhood, felt sad that pretty Mrs. Hung remained a widow, especially when a few years later, Mr. Yee, the grocer, showed interest in her. As Anna recalled, Mrs. Hung discouraged his advances, and before long Mr. Yee took the hint and stopped trying to court her.
When Anna was older and began to baby-sit for Mrs. Hung, they would frequently sit and talk woman to woman. One day she confided in Anna. “I will never remarry because when I die I will be reunited with Mr. Hung. He is waiting for me in heaven.” Another time she spoke to her about Mr. Yee. “It would have been too much trouble if I had married Mr. Yee. My husband’s jealous ghost would have haunted me day and night and scared our children, too.” Mrs. Hung never remarried; she stoically endured her loneliness rather than seek happiness with a new husband.
In a similar way, Tong chose to stay widowed, remaining forever faithful to his beloved Mei-li. He never spoke of his grief, but Anna sensed it. She loved the old man, and was glad he lived with them.

福
By Monday night the activity in Chinatown reached a high level of excitement and like all traditional holidays, families everywhere gathered to enjoy the festivities; out-of-town relatives traveled great distances to celebrate with their relations, and those without family were invited to share the Monday night feast with close friends. The Chow Lee Tong household was bustling with the noise of three generations and many friends, all talking and laughing at once.
While the men were seated in the den reviewing the Super Bowl play-by-play from the video they’d taped of the game last December, Anna found herself worrying about table space. She had hosted many family banquets and knew to rent extra tables and chairs in order to seat all her guests. But with the crowd tonight, it seemed impossible there would be enough chairs to go around.
Wu saw her fretting and came up behind her. He placed both hands on her shoulders and lightly massaged them in an attempt to reassure her.
“Relax Anna, I watched you count the seating arrangements three times before you ordered the tables, so stop worrying. Everyone is going to have a place to sit.”
“But your family keeps growing by leaps and bounds. I remember our first party where we only needed one extra table. With the crowd here tonight there's not an extra inch of room.”
“It will all work out, you'll see.” The doorbell rang and Wu rushed away to answer it. “Gong hey fat choy!” he called out as he opened the door.
Gong hey fat choy!” was the hearty response from Uncle Cho and Aunt Ying as they exchanged the traditional greeting of congratulations and wishes for happiness and prosperity in the New Year.
“Where is my daughter-in-law?” Ying inquired in a sharp voice as she scanned the room with hawk eyes. She reeked of too much perfume, which detracted from her new red dress and expensive gold accessories. “Sue told me she was coming over early to help out, and then she left in such a hurry I couldn’t catch her. That girl is always rushing away from me. She should have waited for me like a respectful daughter.”
As she complained, Ying held up a huge bowl of faht choy (seaweed hair), a fine-stranded dark hair-like seaweed thought to bring wealth to those who ate it. At the New Year's Eve dinner, it was considered good luck to eat food that sounded similar to the words for gold, money or prosperity. Faht choy sounded almost identical to fat choy, the latter part of the greeting exchanged between Wu and Uncle Cho, which literally translated, meant “prosperity.”
“If you take that into the kitchen, you'll find Anna and Sue putting on the finishing touches of a feast fit for a king. I'm sure they’ll both be delighted to have your help, Auntie.” Wu bent over and kissed Ying on her heavily rouged cheek. Then he left her to greet more arriving guests.
The sound of lively conversation and the laughter of children filled the house, while the mouth-watering aromas of cooking food wafted from the busy kitchen. While they waited for dinner to be served, guests nibbled from bowls of toasted almonds, salted peanuts, watermelon seeds and fresh fruit. Sweet-smelling tangerines with stems and leaves left intact for good luck were set out on all the tables.
When the appetizers were brought out and the last person seated, Wu and Anna took their positions in what were considered the lowliest seats; their backs faced the door. In the place of honor directly across from them sat Tong.
The banquet began with appetizers of slivered cucumber and chicken, preserved eggs, smoked fish and vegetable relish, all beautifully arranged and accompanied by warm rice wine. The paramount course of prestigious bird's nest soup was served next, followed by an entree of ginger-seasoned stir-fried vegetables. Since meat dishes represented wealth, shrimp, pork, chicken and roast duck, each prepared in a different mouthwatering sauce, were consumed with small quantities of rice. The final course consisted of steamed dumpling and long-life noodles. Then tea was served with a special dessert of eight-treasure pudding consisting of red bean paste, rice, fruit, and nuts.
Although a cornucopia of food was offered, the guests politely helped themselves to only small portions at a time because to do otherwise would have been looked upon as greedy. No one would consider taking the most tender or delicate morsel for themselves.
For this purpose, Anna had placed an extra long pair of chopsticks at each table so that if one desired, a table mate could honor another by picking up a delicate morsel and place it on their plate as a gesture of affection.
When everyone grabbed their chopsticks and commenced eating, the conversation died down and the room became quiet as family and guests concentrated on the meal. Talking while eating is considered very impolite. Therefore, it is better to exhibit good manners and converse later without the chance of accidentally spitting out or dropping the food from one's mouth; that would be rude and embarrassing.
While her friends and family feasted, Anna noticed how her guests, all dressed in their new finery, exuded a happy and positive attitude. She loved this holiday because it was full of auspicious thoughts and gestures.
As each person finished and had politely consumed every grain of rice, they indicated they were through by placing their chopsticks across the top of their rice bowl.
The dishes were cleared away and a tray presented with small, steaming hot towels dipped in fragrant boiling water, wrung out, and rolled. The towels were used to wipe hands and faces.
All the dishes were cooked to perfection, but when Anna received compliments on the savory feast, she modestly protested she wasn’t a good cook and it was only because of Sue and Aunt Ying’s help that everything turned out so well. All three women were praised for their culinary skill and, despite their protests, they beamed with happiness their efforts were appreciated.
Now came the best part of the evening for the children, who grew excited and animated as they waited for the traditional lai see (red envelope) to be distributed with the lucky money inside.
At the appropriate time, the elders slipped the red envelopes out of their pockets, and the children flocked to their grandparents and others to receive their lai see, which they would spend over the ensuing days.
After several minutes of boisterous merriment, Wu stood up and rapped on the edge of his glass with a spoon to get everyone's attention. Once the room quieted down, he began his speech.
“Dear family and honored guests, thank you for coming to our New Year's Eve dinner. As you can see by the number of children in attendance tonight, our family is flourishing.”
Wu glanced at Sue and several other expectant mothers and joked. “There are even a few children joining us on this all-important evening who are yet to be born.” The group received this comment with goodhearted humor. Wu continued. “I hope all of you will join me in encouraging my father, Uncle Cho, and our dear friend, Feng, to share some stories with us so that we and the children can learn more about our family and our heritage.”
“Yes! Tell us.” Voices young and old called out.
“Father, will you do us the honor and begin?” Wu asked, as he took his seat.
“Very well, as you wish.”
A hush settled over the room as mothers sat their toddlers on their laps. Older brothers and sisters kept the other youngsters quiet so Tong could address the gathering.
“Tonight we are assembled to celebrate the coming New Year, the Year of the Boar, which has always been one of our most fortuitous years.
“As you know, the boar is a symbol of wealth and family. Since wealth usually involves a certain amount of counting, whether it is in blessings or money, tonight I have chosen to speak about the Chinese system of numbers and our lunar calendar.
“Children are taught to count by using their fingers. However, before there were numbers as we know them today, in a distant time past, three thousand years ago, our ancient ancestors drew lines and symbols to keep track of the days.”
A baby's cry interrupted Tong's speech, and he waited patiently while the mother quieted her infant before he went on.
“A thousand years later our people discovered a way to keep track of the months by watching the changing face of the moon.”
“What about the animal faces, Grandfather? Where did they come from? Was there a giant zoo in the sky?” Dennis wanted to know.
“Ho! A very good question, my little scholar. During the great Han dynasty, each year was matched with an animal name. How many of them can you identify for me?”
Dennis stuck a finger in his mouth and sucked on it while he thought about the answer. “Um . . . I know . . . there's a monkey . . . and a dog . . . and . . . and . . . and a pig.”
“Excellent. I will write out the names of all twelve animals for you. Can you draw a picture for me of each animal next to his name?”
“Don't forget me, Grandfather. I want to draw pictures for you, too,” William chimed in, jumping up and down, which excited the rest of his young cousins who all began to jump and cheer at the same time.
Tong chuckled. “Very well, all of you can learn together. I will give the list to your father. He will make copies at work so you and your cousins can each have one.”
As always, Wu was amazed by his father's broad scope of knowledge and his inspiration for teaching children. “I'd be glad to, Father. How did you learn so much about our calendar?”
“Grandfather passed on all his knowledge to me because he knew I would travel far from home and most likely never return. He made certain to teach me Chinese history so I wouldn’t grow up in a far off place and forget my heritage.”
His father's words made Wu wish he had spent more time learning from him instead of being so single-minded about business. With the approaching New Year, he made a firm resolution to make the time to listen to his seemingly endless store of knowledge, learning what he could while he still had the opportunity to do so. This was a sobering thought to have on New Year's Eve, and he quickly dismissed it, but not without resolving to act upon it.
Uncle Cho spoke up next. “Well then, I have something to share. Would anyone like to hear?”
Encouraged by the group’s cheers, Cho looked around the room, grabbed his full stomach and assumed a teasing voice. “I could not help but notice that all of you ate your fair share of noodles tonight.”
“They were delicious,” a voice called out.
“Wonderful!”
A small utterance came from one of the youngsters. “I love noodles.”
“Very well.” Cho began to articulate in a sing-song voice perfect for telling stories, replete with nuances and colorful descriptions. “Tonight I am going to tell you about the Shuikou noodles that come from the beautiful Shuikou region, where the Chang and the Daning rivers meet. This basin is full of tiny black birds with beautiful red feathered tails. The birds fly within a gorge carpeted with yellow wildflowers. Five hundred years ago, the people of this region made thin round noodles out of wheat flour and limestone spring water. Rumor has it these noodles were so delicious that after one of the Ming emperors first tasted them, he demanded his tribute from the Shuikou region be paid from then on in nothing else but bundles of noodles.”
“Uncle Cho, why didn't you tell me that story when I was your Little Tadpole? I remember every story you ever told me, and that wasn’t one of them,” Wu said.
“Because I didn’t know it until today. Not to be outdone tonight by my older scholarly brother, I searched through my books for an interesting story that would have something to do with food in honor of tonight's feast.”
“Ho! Very wise of you indeed,” chortled Tong. “Just like the old days; still trying to keep up with me.” Then he turned to his beloved aged companion seated beside him. “Now we await Feng to tell us something of interest. What about it, old friend? Is there something you want to share?”
Feng slowly ground out his after-dinner cigarette and nodded his head, smiling with the sly look of someone who concealed a wonderful secret. “You probably expected me to come here on this all-important night unprepared, but your clever son alerted me to have a story ready, and his warning gave me plenty of time to plan ahead.”
Such an unexpected action on the part of Wu made Tong and Cho view him with renewed respect and pride. Apparently, Wu had invested some serious thought into the after-dinner storytelling portion of the evening that began a few years back and had since evolved into a Chow family tradition. Secretly, Tong believed it was the influence of the book of fortunes, whether or not Wu was aware of its effect on him.
“Please begin, Feng,” prompted Wu. “All of us are eager to hear what you have prepared to tell us.”
Feng felt the eyes of the guests in the room upon him and, although he was unable to make out the details of any but the closest faces, he knew these people well and felt comfortable addressing them.
“I spent many years of my life as a keeper of books. What some of you may not know is that in my youth I was also an accomplished calligrapher. I was tutored by a great scholar who taught me the art of calligraphy while also instructing me in its history.”
Only Tong knew about this area of Feng's education and he listened intently, wondering what he was going to say next.
“In ancient China the art of calligraphy was held in the highest esteem by the whole population, educated and illiterate, rich and poor. Calligraphy soared to a stature above all other forms of art because it had the most profound spiritual value attached to it. Over hundreds of years, various scripts evolved. To the student, it is easy to recognize and differentiate, for example, between Kaiti, Caoshu, Shaoer, Lishu, Weibi, and Xiaozhuan. These different styles represent not only the distinct stages in the evolution of our written language but serve as a record to preserve our past. A fact all you young people should take pride in is that your Chinese ancestors invented paper eleven centuries before the western world.”
Feng folded his hands in his lap, which indicated he had concluded.
“Cool, we're pretty smart,” an impressed teenager said, breaking the thoughtful silence, and was joined by his friends and cousins who agreed with him.
“That was quite interesting and informative, Feng. Thank you.” Anna patted his arm with affection. “I think I speak for all of us when I say learning about our past is a wonderful way to spend the eve before the New Year. I was inspired by Tong, who is going to make a list of all twelve animals for our little ones. I would like to request that our storytellers also write what they shared with us this night so Wu can get copies of those printed as well for whomever is interested.”
“An excellent idea,” Tong agreed.
“Thank you, Father. There are many important stories from our past that ought to be preserved for our children and grandchildren. Who knows? Perhaps someday they will all sit gathered around their own tables as we are tonight and will be able to tell these interesting historical tales to their own children.”
Anna's last statement was received by the group with such enthusiasm Wu couldn’t contain his delight. His obvious pride made her blush. Tong was convinced the book of fortunes must have also influenced Anna, because now she wanted to begin her own book for the Chow family to hand down to future generations.
At long last he felt the inward peace he had yearned for and was certain Grandfather's presence was in the room with them, guiding them, and rejoicing with them.
The morning of New Year's Day dawned in beauty with the theme of the day centered around sweets, to ensure the sweetness for the rest of the year. Everywhere, people spoke only in happy and positive words, omitting anything unpleasant such as grief or illness. The use of sharp utensils, such as scissors and knives, was avoided if at all possible.
Aromatic floral arrangements sat on tables alongside bowls of fruit and hung cha eggs, whose cracked shells resembled small spherical mosaics. There were also bowls of candies, many of them wrapped in gold foil to look like coins.
Guests were served a light breakfast of steamed sponge cake with sweet sauce and tea. Lunch consisted of vegetable dishes and meatless leftovers. Although not all households followed this tradition, the Chows reserved the eating of meat dishes until dinnertime, reasoning that the animals had been killed, and the early part of the day remained devoted entirely to nonviolent, sweet and peaceful things.
In days of old, farmers toiled and saved their money all year for the New Year's Eve feast. This enabled them to serve the best foods, which they hoped would increase their chances for a future of continued wealth and prosperity. In the present day, the Chow households had been blessed with abundance and all lived comfortably without knowing the hardships of their ancestors. In each house, bowls and dishes were filled to overflowing with treats for the many guests who came by to pay their respects on the first day of the New Year.
Some elders, however, clung to the old customs and only visited relatives. They waited until the second day to visit friends because of belief in an old superstition. If they went to the house of a friend who had bad luck that day, for the rest of the year they would be blamed for causing it. Rather than take such an unpleasant risk, they postponed their visits.
For ten days the streets of Chinatown were transformed into a street fair of continuous joyous celebration. Noisy and colorful parades took place with music, drums, and many-legged dragons dancing like giant caterpillars. The popping sound of firecrackers could be heard everywhere; the air became filled with acrid clouds of smoke. Lively young children ran between the crowds gathered on the sidewalk and eagerly spent their lucky lai see money in the shops. Throughout the extended celebration, friends continued to visit one another and distribute more red envelopes to the little ones. It was a happy time.
While all this took place, Wu and Anna began their historical book and gathered stories from friends and relatives who came to visit. At night, however, once they were in bed, they put all that behind them since they were earnestly preoccupied with another important project that required all their attention. The Year of the Boar was pregnant with future possibilities.


Monday, July 23, 2012

FOREVER YOUNG


It happens before you know it. A glance in the mirror shows the beginning of age lines. Traces of gray hair have suddenly cropped up. You awake one morning, get out of bed and feel aches and pains in your joints when you walk. While shaving or moisturizing, you observe your neck is starting to look like a wattle. You can’t stop it. Aging is part of living and if you consider the alternative, a few wrinkles and some joint aches aren’t so bad. But why, you lament, why can’t you stay young forever? This is a question people have pondered for centuries while searching for eternal youth. British author James Hilton wrote of Shangri-La in his novel “Lost Horizon.” He created the residents of Shangri-La as almost immortal, living years beyond the normal lifespan while they aged slowly in appearance. For thousands of years tales of a fountain of youth have been written. Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon was searching for the fountain of youth when he traveled to what is now Florida.
“Forever Young”
By Bob Dylan

"May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young."



We’re bombarded every day with messages to eat healthy foods, take vitamins, exercise, don’t smoke, apply sunscreen before going outside. Tummy tucks, liposuction, facelifts and laser treatments pay college tuition for dermatologist’s kids. I do my best to cook whole foods, moisturize with SPF 30, get regular exercise and floss at night. But I admit there are times when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and don’t recognize myself. I still feel like a twenty year old inside but the reality is, I’m not.

In “Good Fortune” I write about Michael’s and Wu’s feelings about the changes they see in their outward appearance as they realize they’re aging. I introduce Michael after he’s suddenly laid off his executive job and finds himself literally thrown into a pool of much younger job seekers who have a definite edge over him. He confesses his frustration to his friend Eric:

“Going on job interviews at my age sucks. Twenty applicants show up for one lousy opening. Most of them are kids compared to me. Hell, I’m twice their age. I feel old and . . . well . . . useless. Like my time has come and gone and there’s no future for me anymore.”
“Bullshit. You've got experience, those kids have got acne.”
Michael placed his spoon on the table and stared at it for a few seconds, and then his eyes met Eric’s. “Well, a lot of good a clear complexion does me. I haven't had a single response to the resumes I've submitted.”

Later, when he’s contemplating whether or not to take a temporary job while he’s figuring out how he’s going to open his own business, Michael steps from the shower and regards his image:

            Above the bathroom sink, steam misted the mirror blocking his reflection. He used the corner of his towel and rubbed a circle in the middle; his reflection stared back at him. It was apparent his recent setback had taken its toll because his face looked slightly older. He noticed a certain edge to his expression that wasn’t there before, enhanced by the small worry lines that had begun to form between his eyebrows. Well, there was nothing he could do about that. Since he would be interviewing soon, he hoped his life experience and maturity would count in his favor.

Like Michael, Wu is facing his own personal challenges and one morning while shaving, he notices how the passage of time is changing him.

            While he lathered up to shave, Wu scrutinized his reflection in the bathroom mirror and noticed the beginning of fine age lines fanning his eyes that would inevitably turn into deep wrinkles like his father's. He was struck with the harsh realization that time was passing for him, too.

Beyond the cosmetic changes Wu observes in himself, he has deep feelings about his father growing old. He expresses his concern, but his father has a quite different perspective:

“Son, I appreciate your concern about my health, but you must accept the fact that all men grow old. I cannot prevent time from passing, and if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Life has its own rhythm that conforms to our daily existence. It changes with us as we grow and mature. For most of my life I have worked hard, and now, I am getting ready to slow down my pace and take the needed time to rest. I have earned that right, which did not come easily. Do not deny an old man the reward he has labored toward his entire life.”
Until that moment, Wu hadn't realized how much he had taken his father for granted, or that he wanted him to remain healthy and vigorous so he would never die and leave him, like his mother. Even though they clashed for years, his father was always there, a solid presence he now recognized he would lose. This sudden realization forced him to acknowledge that as much as he wanted to change the course of life and keep his father forever young, he knew it was beyond his human power to do so.
Accept the change; that's what Father is saying. I’ll try, but it feels as if he is asking too much of me.
Sensing Wu's distress, Tong addressed his son in a calm voice. “In due time, your own sons will become grown men who will feel all that you are experiencing now as you observe how old and withered this body of mine has become. If you can learn acceptance of old age and how it transforms those you love who were once strong and full of spirit into frail tired souls, when it becomes necessary, you will be able to guide your boys with love and compassion as they struggle to accept the changes they perceive in you, when you follow in my footsteps.”
Wu approached his father’s bed. “If that's what you wish, Father, I'll try. But please be honest. Is it only old age that ails you? If you are suffering any pain, any pain at all, I want you to see the acupuncturist.” When Tong protested, Wu added, “At least let Anna brew you some medicinal tea to make you feel better.”
Tong wouldn't hear of it. “Nonsense! Occasionally my joints ache, but I have nothing hurting me in the way you fear. I’m slowing down, so if I work less and keep myself warm, that will be my best tonic. My biggest comforts in life now are a bowl of hot noodles and watching my grandsons tumble on the floor the way Cho and I once did when we were boys.”
It was impossible for Wu to imagine the two old men as young rambunctious boys and he smiled at the thought of his own sons being the same as his Uncle Cho and Father once were.

Yes, we were all young children who took our youth for granted. Now that we’re older and wiser, let’s be accepting of the aging process and the knowledge that brings us. If you have unfinished business with someone, do what you can to make peace between you while you still have the opportunity. After exchanging harsh words with his father, Wu watches him walk away:

Tong turned his back on his son. On the way to his room his slippers made an angry slapping sound on the wooden floor. With sorrow, Wu watched his father walk away thinking how he always looked old and tired, but that night especially, he detected something more, something beyond the usual air of sadness surrounding him, something that had made him unapproachable. He knew he was helpless to stop his father's grieving for his long-departed mother. Nor was he able to stop the inevitable changes that accompany aging. Time was fading the old man into the shadows, and Wu’s chance to mend the cracks in their relationship before his father’s death seemed impossibly out of reach. The realization consumed him with grief.

I choose to view aging as a positive experience. Wrinkles tell our life stories and should be cherished. Aches and pains remind me I’m alive. Each day I repeat these words: “I make peace within myself and let go of anger towards those who are unapproachable and unyielding. I’m mindful of the blessings each morning brings when I awake, and I give thanks for this day.”

Yours in good fortune,
Leslie Bratspis
Author

"Good Fortune" is available on Amazon.com & Kindle, Barnes & Noble.com & Nook
Goodreads.com & Smashwords.com
http://www.amazon.com/Leslie-Bratspis/e/B005EJ438W

Friday, June 15, 2012

CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE?

No, I don’t want your money! What I mean is, can you spare some time to reflect and look at what’s going on in your life that needs to change, and then do whatever it takes to make that happen? Here's an example. I constantly rushed around and became so accustomed to being stressed out that stress became my “normal.” Monday through Friday I left the house an hour early to make a commute in congested traffic that shouldn’t have taken more than twenty minutes. By the time I arrived at work I was so keyed up the mood was set for the day and I couldn't slow down. Year after year my husband and I both worked ourselves into a state of exhaustion until one of us realized we had to take a vacation before the pace we were keeping had a negative impact on our health. It was a wake-up call that brought me to my senses and sprung me into action. I booked our flight to Kauai, a car, and rented a condo in Poipu Beach. The next morning I informed my boss when we were going and I arranged for a temp to cover me in my absence. I was so firm when I told her our plans I didn't get any resistance.

The morning of our departure the airport shuttle came for us fifteen minutes late and freeway traffic was making such slow progress I was sure we wouldn’t make it to the airport in time. My heart pounded until we arrived. After we checked our bags and passed through security we went to a restaurant for breakfast. I kept checking my watch, impatient to board the plane. My husband’s cell phone rang—a business call—life as usual. 


 ~

We arrived! My husband knew the way to Poipu Beach and drove us directly to the condo. On the way, I drank in the sunlight, awed by the deep red soil and lush vegetation. Ancient mountains in the distance dotted the countryside. Kauai is a paradise where papaya trees grow alongside the road and tropical flowers bloom everywhere. By the time we drove beneath the tree tunnel I knew we were almost at our destination.


I was anxious to get settled and felt it took the clerk much too long to check us in. Our internal clocks were operating from totally different perspectives. The condo was beautifully furnished and had a spectacular ocean view. I opened the sliding glass door and the breeze caressed my face. The sound of breaking waves and the rustle of palm trees embraced me and felt like a soothing balm. Tropical birds sang, “padda pah pah, padda pah pah.”

Almost in a trance, I settled back on the couch and said to my husband, “I remember this; now I remember this feeling. I haven’t felt this way since the last time we were here.” My shoulders relaxed and the nervousness poured from my body like running water, replaced by a feeling of inner peace and well-being. I’d surrendered to island time. I was being mindful and living in the moment.
 ~

Two characters in Good Fortune, Michael Hamilton and Wu Chow, are over-achievers. They focus only on work and neglect the rest of their lives. When Michael gets laid off he's completely lost and doesn’t know how to process what's happened. Several weeks later when he meets Jennie Greene at a bookstore and invites her to coffee, they talk about themselves and Jennie is such a good listener he makes a confession.

             Until a few weeks ago I was an executive at an advertising firm. My job dominated my life. Now I don’t know what to do with myself and all this free time.” He adds, “I was so busy I didn't even allow myself time off to take a real vacation. Work became my identity.”

Later, at his friend Eric Brewer’s house, Michael talks to his wife Susan, a licensed therapist. Susan listens as he expresses his feelings about losing his job and his frustration with his situation. Susan says:

           “I don’t want to make you feel worse. Look, the important thing to recognize is, by driving yourself to achieve in school and business, you were so driven to succeed that you didn’t leave yourself enough time to develop your personal life. What have you got without your career that defines who you are now?”
“Nothing,” he admitted. He averted his eyes for a moment. “It’s depressing, but I don’t know what to do and I’m feeling kind of lost. Everything I was—or thought I was—is gone.”
 ~

Wu’s circumstance is the mirrored image of Michael’s, exactly the same but opposite. He has a wife and sons and manages Good Fortune family restaurant. His job is secure and even though he can make his own schedule, instead of taking time off to be with his family he chooses instead to work long hours and neglect them as the excerpt below reveals.

Anna and the boys spent a lot of time without him despite the fact the restaurant was so successful he no longer had to prove himself to anyone. Instead of celebrating his achievement with his wife and children, he imposed pressure on himself, believing only he was qualified to run things at the level he wanted. He forgot his father’s lesson: “Learn to delegate authority to others. They will appreciate the opportunity to earn your trust.”
At night he played host in the dining room, networked parties, and bought customers drinks. He put in so many hours at work he rarely, if ever, was home for dinner anymore.

Wu’s father, Tong, waits patiently for the right moment to confront him. When it finally comes he says:

“For years I have watched you work tirelessly in your effort to amass more and more money for the future, never seeing what it cost you in the present. You achieved affluence years ago. Nonetheless, you have felt driven to accumulate a greater fortune without realizing the irony of your endeavor to obtain what you already have.”

Michael and Wu both have to make life altering decisions and change their priorities. They each have important life lessons to learn while they embark on personal journeys and discover how to overcome difficult challenges. Tong's gentle wisdom will guide them in totally different ways.  Please read Good Fortune and find out what happens.

When facing your own life challenges, I wish you success in reaching your goals toward good fortune.

Leslie Bratspis, Author
Good Fortune

Good Fortune is available on Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes&Noble.com,  Nook & Smashwords.com